Seasons Changing, Moods Shifting:
When Expectations Leave Us Feeling Lost
There’s something about the change in seasons that stirs up emotions we didn’t even realise we were holding. The slow fade of summer into autumn, the sudden brightness of spring after winter—these transitions can bring excitement, but also an unexpected heaviness.
Maybe it’s the contrast between what we thought a season would bring and what it actually delivers. A long-anticipated summer filled with plans that didn’t quite live up to the dream. A crisp autumn that was supposed to be cosy and reflective but instead feels isolating. The pressure to embrace the “fresh start” energy of spring when you still feel stuck.
Expectations can be tricky. They set us up for excitement but also for disappointment. And when things don’t match up, it’s easy to wonder: Is it me? Am I doing life wrong?
The Weight of Expectations: Who Are We Really Doing This For?
The truth is, many of us are following unspoken scripts—subtle pressures from social media, family, and the world around us about what life should look like at different moments. We go along with them because it’s easier than sitting in the discomfort of not knowing who we truly are or what we actually want.
Do I really love this lifestyle, or am I just keeping up appearances?
Am I actually happy, or have I just convinced myself I should be?
Do I even know what I want, or am I just following the crowd?
This is where imposter syndrome sneaks in. The sense that we’re playing a role rather than living authentically. That we’re pretending to have it together while secretly doubting every decision we make.
And when we feel disconnected from ourselves, it’s no surprise that self-esteem suffers. We start looking outward for validation, measuring our worth against how well we fit into the expectations of others rather than how we truly feel inside.
How Therapy Helps Untangle These Feelings
Therapy offers space to slow down and ask: Where did these messages come from? Who taught me to doubt myself? Why do I feel like I’m not enough?
By exploring these questions, we start to see the patterns shaping our thoughts and behaviors. The expectations we absorbed from childhood, the fear of standing out, the ways we shrink ourselves to fit in.
When we uncover where these beliefs come from, we can begin to challenge them. We can build a sense of self that isn’t rooted in external approval but in genuine self-acceptance.
Rediscovering Who You Are
If you’ve been feeling disconnected, lost, or like you’re constantly falling short of some invisible standard, you’re not alone. The shift in seasons, the weight of expectations, the creeping sense of self-doubt—it’s all part of being human. But you don’t have to stay stuck in it.
Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself, challenge the inner critic, and build confidence in who you truly are—not just who you think you’re supposed to be.
Because real happiness doesn’t come from meeting expectations. It comes from letting them go.
A Five-Minute Outdoor Exercise to Reconnect with Yourself
If you’re feeling stuck in expectations, self-doubt, or like you’re losing touch with who you really are, take five or ten minutes to step outside and try this simple grounding exercise.
Step 1: Change Your View
Go outside—into your garden, a park, a quiet street, or even just stand by an open window. Take a deep breath and notice what’s around you. The sky, the trees, the feeling of the air on your skin. Let yourself be present in this moment, outside of the expectations and pressures of everyday life.
Step 2: Find Something That Speaks to You
Look for one natural object that stands out—a leaf, a stone, a flower, a cloud shape. Pick it up or simply observe it closely. Ask yourself:
What drew me to this?
What does this object make me feel?
If it represented something about me, what would that be?
For example, a fallen leaf might remind you that change is natural, not failure. A stone might symbolise the strength you forget you have.
Step 3: Walk with a Question
As you walk (even if it’s just a few steps), ask yourself:
If I let go of others' expectations, what would I do differently?
What part of myself am I ready to embrace more?
You don’t need to have an answer right away—just let the question sit with you.
Step 4: Leave or Take a Reminder
You can choose to leave the object where it is as a symbolic “letting go” of what’s weighing you down, or take it with you as a small reminder that you are allowed to be exactly who you are.
Why This Helps
Getting outside, even briefly, helps shift your perspective and step out of the mental loop of self-doubt. This exercise encourages intuition, self-reflection, and a sense of connection—to yourself and the world around you.
If you found something meaningful in this moment, therapy can help you explore these feelings further and support you in stepping more fully into your authentic self.
Take gentle care
Louise x
